Improving Paper 1

The two main areas that need improvement are: 1) discussion of my observations and 2) more observations about the ad.

One example of needed discussion involves the facial expressions of the children. I observed that the children are not smiling and I gave a reason why I thought they should be smiling, but I didn’t give any reasons why they are not smiling. I should have added, “Perhaps the children are not smiling because the advertisers want parents to focus on the clothes rather than the children. This is similar to ads for adults in which the models usually are serious. Another possible reason is that parents think that serious children are more likely to grow up to be successful.”

One example of a missing observation is the location or setting of the ad. The boy on the right is standing on stairs that are clearly outside; I can see shadows on the boy’s jeans. The children on the left are wearing outdoor clothes and possibly are standing on the porch of a vacation cabin. Maybe this setting was chosen to attract wealthy parents who take their families on vacations.

Amal Gedi