Tighten Wordy Sentences

The tightening wordy is long sentences are not necessarily wordy, nor are short sentences always concise. The wordy sentences can be more hare to understand; for example Ahmed is work at Ohio state university at the computer engineer. I can make short sentences with using short word; the wordy sentences are should be more tighten. For instance, when I start write essay about any topic there is some sentences is very long so when I get back my draft paper from my teachers I get a lot of feed back or comments; but most of the comment it was make more tighten wordy sentences. I really learned from tighten wordy sentences it make my paper easier to me.

Significance of the Glass Castle

Rex Walls promised his family that he would build them a glass castle once he made his fortune by inventing machines and processes to find and extract gold and to purify coal. While Jeannette was growing up, she believed her father and was an obedient child. Eventually, she realized that he would never build the glass castle because of his alcoholism and his unwillingness to work for other people. As a result of the lack of help from her parents, she became very self-reliant and reached her goals.

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when I started to reading the Jeannette Walls story, my feelings were sadness and anger; But the time I finished reading the all story, its really a lot thing changed in Jeannette life from sadness to happiest. For example , Jeannette start cook in age three years she was burned while cooking hotdogs (9) It's was really make me very sad and angry. Because it's really hurt and no one of her parents give her any care or let her to play as any child in her age. For another example , when Jeannette went to the hospital , letter on her family visit her, Jeannette ask "Do you guys miss me " she ask her older sister, Lori say " Not really" (12) that point make me very angry because Jeannette feel nobody love her.

Jeannette’s the all main feeling about her life was sadness. For example , when Jeannette
Feel lonely and her family left her in bar when they move town to other town . When she fell out of the car, she thought the family might not return for her and began to cry, “ I was too shocked to cry” (30).

Maybe my feeling was very similar because both of her life was really difficult from other child . She learn a lot of experience about her life now she become more mature and have more responsibility about her life .

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Yes Jeanette father let her down couple of times. He promised to build the glass castle for the whole family. But he never kept the promise and he was always drunk and losing his job he was not able to provide for the family. He always promises that he will be better person and father even thought he doesn’t accomplish the goal he promises. Which is to be better father and to keep his promise? Sometimes while they go out to eat he tries to be a good father but things always don’t go the way he assume at the moment, He ends up being drunk.

Experiment

When I started to read the THE GLASS CASTLE book the page 155 to 158 its take to me to read like 30 minutes. Because their was so words it take me a time to find what is meaning , so I used the dictionary is more easy to understand , also I find hard words meaning even when I look to dictionary for instance. “UMW’ so I don’t get what strand for. So more time you have more you can understand better .I learned for that experiment it’s when you have to reads you should understand ever word to be more easier.

GLASS CASTLE

The GLASS CASTLE book by Jeannette Walls is really story book. Is about a crazy family that was living in a trailer park in a southern Arizona. The character grabs my attention is was Jeannette mother her name is Mary Walls, she had four children. She was homeless and don’t know where she go. Her daughter Jeannette see her one time in New York city, she said “It had been months since I laid eyes on my mom, when I looked up, I was overcome with panic that she’d see me and call out my name, but I slid down in the seat and asked the driver to turn around and take me home to park Avenue.” But her daughter didn’t stop helping her and giving her hand to get better life but mother refused to get help , mother said” you want to help me change my life?” Mom asked. “I’m fine. You’re the one who needs help. Your values are all confused.”

Improving Paper 1

The two main areas that need improvement are: 1) discussion of my observations and 2) more observations about the ad.

One example of needed discussion involves the facial expressions of the children. I observed that the children are not smiling and I gave a reason why I thought they should be smiling, but I didn’t give any reasons why they are not smiling. I should have added, “Perhaps the children are not smiling because the advertisers want parents to focus on the clothes rather than the children. This is similar to ads for adults in which the models usually are serious. Another possible reason is that parents think that serious children are more likely to grow up to be successful.”

One example of a missing observation is the location or setting of the ad. The boy on the right is standing on stairs that are clearly outside; I can see shadows on the boy’s jeans. The children on the left are wearing outdoor clothes and possibly are standing on the porch of a vacation cabin. Maybe this setting was chosen to attract wealthy parents who take their families on vacations.

Amal Gedi